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Also, if someone is masturbating off a roof onto people's heads, chances are he's not the best gene stock. Instead of being killed by the savage godless Sioux and Cheyanne Indians, Custer wades through a hail of arrows to hump a woman tied to a cactus. And again, if you're like me, this train of thought quickly hits a wall when you realize that you're not an accredited expert on foreign colon-probing policies. The three of you fight off hordes of tiny chariots filled with naked men, rocket-powered dildos with naked men dangling from them and giant naked men using other giant naked men as pogo sticks. Well, the manual says that each drop of this stranger's seed "could have been a famous doctor or lawyer. There are times where you swear they have no idea that getting naked and dancing on a Sega Saturn is naughty. Yes, I understand there is something wrong with an industry when a group of women kicking the crap out of each other in thongs is totally normal, but fuck that. I'm not a sociologist. I forgot, am I the fatty or the bird-headed Indian. After you pick one, she politely gives her name, measurements and age, and then challenges you to Rock-Paper-Scissors. The Yakyuken Special is a complicated game. I suppose we shouldn't expect the designers of a game about a penis with a head stroking itself to be geniuses, but what happens when they settle down with their Continue Reading Below. On the other hand, some nations went a little too far and are represented by women who look like they were photographed by a man trying to climb up their birth canals. I'm not a physiologist, but I'd like to think the one squirting all over the fire and the distressed lady's face is a fire hose and not a monstrous ejaculating penis, but because this was released as an ADULT game, I have a feeling we should all be pretty grossed out. All the girls dance like adorable bouncing princesses. So until one of us is, let's just assume that we're all going to die, but not quite as quickly if we stay far away from Boong-Ga Boong-Ga.

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Description: While the screenshots you earn in Bubble Bath Babes are easier to masturbate to than any of the bonus screens the original Tetris gave you, they're still not that sexy. So if you're still trying to solve the mystery that the bad graphics have given us, you're either a rescue worker carrying a fire hose and airlifting a woman out mouth-first with your penis, or you have double the normal amount of reproductive organs, one of them a handle and the other a fire extinguisher. But keep your quarters. Getting them out of their panties requires such a fantastic level of hand-eye coordination and rapid reflexes that it becomes a death trap. Add me to the weekly Newsletter. Plus, even if you're terrible at it, and can't unlock the later, gayer levels, the game's intro features all the grinning, posing naked men you could ever want. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Are there any questions. Some of these girls are at least half donkey. And just like you'd expect, a rock is no match for a helicopter dangling a naked man with a groin that can put out forest fires. Growling demon heads grow smaller demon heads out of their faces, and unleash an onslaught of terror that will cease any self-gratification you might have been starting on. But not a sexy, stripper dance. Karate women face off in a pit fighting tournament where the winner takes home naked pictures of other women.
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